Saddle up for another edition of Cowboy Fedor's Picks! Our MMA analyst is back to pick winners for Dream 9 this Tuesday.
Howdy once again, comrades! I have returned for my newest round of prognostications, this time for the Dream 9 in Japan. I'm quite familiar with MMA in Japan...in fact you could make the argument that I am the "Last Emperor" of the sport there! I kid, of course. The occasional chuckle helps to remind the people that I am not in fact a cyborg. Anyway, on to the picks!
(Click "read more" for the full feature)
I'm going to be brief, because this is a big card, loaded with good fights.
**First Round Super Hulk Grand Prix**
Bob Sapp vs Ikuhisa Minowa- Minowa runs like a calf at a rodeo, and lasso's Sapp's leg for a first round submission.
Hong Man Choi vs José Canseco- Canseco is representing the Cuban flag. As a Ruskie, I have a great affection for Cubans. Canseco saddle-broncs Choi down with a first round choke.
Jan Nortje vs Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou- Sokoudjou's grappling does not inspire. In fact it stirs the closest thing to a negative emotion that I can muster. Soko can and will get submitted by a giant striker, in round one.
Gegard Mousasi vs Mark Hunt- Hunt is...heavy, but Mousasi's grappling will finish him. He has great training partners.
**Lightweight Bout**
Tatsuya Kawajiri vs Gesias Calvancante- Kawajiri can stand with JZ for a time, but he'll need horse-like cardio to carry him to victory. JZ by second round TKO.
**Second Round Feather Weight Grand Prix**
Abel Cullum vs Hideo Tokoro- It is a cruel thing to be overlooked. I haven't felt that way in years, but I vaguely remember how I might have perceived it. Tokoro pulls the upset heel hook in round two.
Yoshiro Maeda vs Hiroyuki Takaya- Maeda advanced in the tournament thanks to questionable judging. Did I tell you a dislike both judges and tournaments? Takaya in a unanimous decision.
Masakazu Imanari vs Bibiano Fernandes- Imanari looked uninspired in his last fight. Reminded me of some Croatian fellow...Fernandes smothers him for a decision.
Norifumi Yamamoto vs Joe Warren- Yamamoto is the strongest kid I've ever met. He'll grow up to be quite the competitor some day. TKO for Yamamoto in round one.
**Dream Middleweight Title Fight**
Jason Miller vs Ronaldo Souza- In the first fight, Miller's best defense was not...his best defense. However, this fight I forsee him losing instead for being too aggressive. How do I know this, you ask? Ever see God in a mirror? Jacare submits Miller in round two.
So, my proletariat cowboy friends, that about wraps up another edition of my picks. Check back soon where we'll be back on the trail with WEC: Brown vs Faber 2 analysis. Dasvidania!
*Cowboy Fedor's Picks are a parody column and not intended in any way to represent the actual views or statements of Fedor Emelianenko, or any other cybernetic organism*
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